Monday 16 April 2012

Sick list

I thought the sickness had passed.  I was mostly right.  Until Friday when I decided that the very thing would be to eat most of a large packet of KP dry roasted peanuts.  In retrospect, this wasn't one of my better ideas.

I can now categorically state though, that throwing up dry roasted peanuts is an awful lot like eating peanut butter in reverse.

Here are my top five foodstuffs I don't recommend throwing up:

5.  Peanuts.  See above.

4.  Spaghetti Bolognese.  Wraps itself around your tonsils.

3.  Tomato juice.  Looks like you're vomiting blood.

2.  Milk.  Comes out in gross lumps and tastes like death in reverse.

1. Ginger beer.  Stings like fuck when it comes out of your nose.

Hope this helps.

Tuesday 3 April 2012

Doctor, doctor... I can't stop making jokes

So the nausea and sickness is finally easing off.  Yay!  I haven't been sick for a couple of weeks now, though I sometimes feel a bit icky, especially when I've just got up.

Today I had an appointment with the consultant, as I have a minor medical condition (hypermobility) that can interfere with pain relief during labour.

"It shouldn't be a problem," she said.  "We just need to make sure that when you're in labour, the midwives don't take advantage of your hypermobility to put you in positions that put stress on your joints."

"OK," I said.

"For example," she continued, "we wouldn't want you to have your legs wide open - one over here and one over here."

"No," I mused.  "That's how I got into this trouble in the first place."