Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Project delivery

I have always been super-organised.  I swear I made my first project plan (complete with Gantt Chart) when I was seven years old.  So, it seems to make sense to take an equally well-planned approach to conception.

Whilst still not utterly convinced that I actually want a baby, a clever baby would definitely be better than a stupid one.  With all the evidence pointing towards September babies doing better at school, we had to do some maths before trying to conceive.  Maths done, we worked out that December was the month when we should go for it.  Yes, next month.  Holy scariness.

Yes, I know this sounds ridiculously organised, but let's face it, practically no-one conceives in their first month.

Part of me thinks I may be masking the fear with organisation.  As a natural project manager by nature, a project with deadlines and goals is familiar and comforting to me.  A baby, on the other hand, is utterly, utterly terrifying,  So from the chaos, I create familiarity.  Of course, it'll only make matters worse when the plan falls flat on its face.  Unfortunately my project manager brain is already producing a flow chart:

So yes, we're not even trying for a baby yet, and already my mind is in overdrive.  I dread to think what it'll be like once we're officially attempting it.  I imagine every little twinge will feel like a symptom, and before two weeks have passed, I'll have convinced myself that I have polycystic ovaries, an upside-down womb and that my husband's sperm are all dead.

That's before I even start thinking about what a terrible mother I'll undoubtedly be.

1 comment:

  1. Lol! You sound just like I did.... I convinced myself there was no possibility implantation would happen normally. Oh no, it took the 12 week scan to reassure me that mine was not, after all, an ectopic pregnancy!